I almost lost it today.
Have you ever been so mad, you're ready to go off on anyone, regardless of the consequences? That was me today.
Actually, this was the capstone in a couple weeks of really jacked up occurrences.
I left my phone charger at home (again) and only had my car charger so I had to come outside and sit in the parking lot for two hours every time I needed to charge my phone
I'm not adjusting well to switching to a Blackberry (you've probably read my rants on Facebook)
Several of my talks have been flat. I've gotten great reviews but I personally know I can do so much better. I take this very personally.
Every time I try to sit down to get some work done, I fall asleep because I'm so tired from flying, driving or speaking every day.
In his book The 7 Habits of Highly-Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about the concept of having an emotional bank account. Mine was on Insufficient Funds. Even the slightest thing was liable to set me off.
I don't know why people think that because of what I do, I'm somehow exempt from experiencing Yuck Days or having an attitude. Perhaps it's my name. It's hard to imagine taking someone seriously when they're cursing you out, knowing their name is Sprinkles. Well trust me, when I start to lose it, there are no traces of anything "sprinkley." Mr. Motivator looks more like Mr. Murderer!
And now, by five minutes, I had just missed my flight home. It was my fault. I flat out lost track of time earlier that morning. I ended up having to stay in New Jersey for another three hours before the next flight. On top of that, the next connecting flight didn't leave for another. . . SEVEN hours. I was screwed.
If I told you more details, you would think I was trying to make you feel sorry for me. I'm not. As with all things, I accept total responsibility for my actions and my attitude in response to my actions. I do, however, want to share with you some things that helped get me through. I know I'm not the only one who has ever been close to snapping, so I'm sure you can take away some new strategies for dealing with your Yuck when it comes your way.
Make A Decision
I was hot...steaming...livid! I couldn't believe that I was about to, in essence, waste one of my precious days off. I'm really not an emotional guy, but when I get to the height of my anger, I start to tear up. If I ever actually shed a tear, run fast because I've totally lost it! I swear I could've knocked out the UFC heavyweight champion. After a few minutes of reveling in my pity party, I realized I could complain and whine and feel sorry for myself all I wanted, but what was done was done. At that point, I made myself say, "I choose...I choose." At first, my statement was, "I choose to be pissed. I choose to feel like elbowing someone in the forehead." Then I realized I was being really dumb and needed to choose something that would allow me to somehow capitalize on my misfortune. Reinforcing my ability to choose my attitude was the first step to overcoming the overwhelm of the moment. After that, I could begin the process of figuring out how I could solve my problem instead of wallowing in it.
Make A Declaration
As my mom used to say, "Don't let your mouth write a check that your behind can't cash." I say, "Watch your words!" Be very careful about what you allow to slip out of your mouth, especially in highly-emotional moments. Statements made in anger and frustration [i.e. "This sucks," or "This is some (you fill in the blank)"] will cause you to stagnate in the same emotional state. Trust me, I know it's difficult when you're ticked off, but choose to use your Winning Words. Say something that diffuses the emotion of the situation. Blurt out, "This is great, just great. Perfect!" or "I can't wait to tweet about this." I know this sounds like some stupid motivational speaker crap (I hate that stuff too), but this time, there's some real meat here.
Dr. Lewis Baxter, a psychiatrist from UCLA, has documented that carefully chosen words have the same effect on the brain as a highly-prescribed drug. Science has proven that the connection between what you say and how you feel. Thus, when you allow yourself to spout off an explicative-laced soliloquy, you are triggering the portion of your brain that is responsible for melancholy emotions. But simply saying something more constructive (whether you really mean it or not!) will numb the effects of the moment and slowly bring you back to normal. Cussin' and fussin' feels good at the moment, but like sugar, gives you a temporary rush then leaves you crashing in the end.
Make Someone's Day
One of the highest times in my leadership retreats is when we discuss how great we feel when we make a conscious effort to be a blessing to the people around us. The fastest way to turn a Yuck Day into a good day is to commit a random act of kindness. Pay the toll for the car behind you, grab a few mints at the restaurant at lunch and arrange them in a smiley face on someone's desk, compliment three people, handwrite a thank you note to someone who deserves it. There is a "boomerang effect" that happens when you send love to others. It is impossible to give without simultaneously receiving.
My buddy Beaux Wellborn (who was recently featured as a life coach on MTV's Made) always has the best sayings on his Facebook page. Most recently, he said, "If you want to have a good day, have one. You want to have a bad day, you can have one too. But regardless of what happens in the day, it is ultimately our choice how we see it. I like good days!" Well said, Beaux! Even the best of us get down sometimes. But we don't have to stay down.
I like good days, too.
© Jonathan Sprinkles. All rights reserved. |
Make sure you register TODAY for Presenation Power...or miss out for another year!